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    RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN

    March 15th, 2009

    witch1

    Overall Impression – Not one honest laugh, real emotion, effective plot point, sincere character arc, or original idea.  Other than that, it was great.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who is your main character? – Jack Bruno

    What is he trying to accomplish? – Professional: Keep the alien kids safe and get them back to their ship. Personal: Get Dr. Friedman (the sexy astro-physicist, not the balding gynecologist from Beverly Hills) to love him (alternatively, it might be to believe in something.)  Private: Not be the quitter he’s always been all his life.

    Who’s trying to stop him? – Henry Burke and the other super-secret government people who keep things super-secret.

    What happens if he fails? – Earth will be invaded by aliens.

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    Orphan – Jack’s literally an orphan (we find out that his parents died in a car accident.)  He’s an ex-con (but the nice kind), and drives a cab in Las Vegas where he gets no respect from anyone, while also living alone in a sleazy motel.

    Wanderer – After some ethereal kids jump into his cab, he tries to figure out who they are, where they’re going, and who’s trying to stop him.

    Warrior – Once he learns that they’re aliens he now fights to keep them safe and get them back to their spaceship.

    Martyr – Jack risks going back to jail (and his life) to rescue the kids who have been taken by the government scientists and who are about to have some non-specific procedure performed on them, get them to their ship, and defeat the alien assassin who wants to kill them.  Did I mention the alien assassin?

    AND, IN THE END…

    I love movies, I really do.  It is seldom that I see a movie so relentlessly bad that I find myself wishing for it to be over.   RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN represents the most creatively bankrupt storytelling I’ve seen in the past few years.

    Here is a movie with so little plot that it can be vomited out in one speech by the ethereal alien children.  Before and after that, the movie devolves into one repetitive chase scene after another.

    Structurally, the movie kinda sorta has everything in the right place, but it violates the rules of good storytelling (and good common sense) by purporting to be a chase movie that goes from point A to point B, yet the characters actually (and casually) return to where they started from (Las Vegas) two thirds of the way through the movie in order to pick up an ally character before hitting the road again.   It’s almost as if the filmmakers are daring us NOT to think that this is a whole lot of running around for nothing.  

    And another thing…the characters don’t even RACE to Witch Mountain!  They leave Las Vegas and then drive there, leisurely, in a Winnebago.  In fact, the trip to Witch Mountain is the only section of the film where they’re actually not racing around or being pursued.

    Add to this some really bad special effects and the worst flying saucer since PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, and you have a movie that is predictable, laughable, and so poorly structured that it watched like someone shot a first draft and slapped the Disney seal on it.

    C’mon guys…we can do better than this. 

    – Jeffrey Alan Schechter


    HOTEL FOR DOGS

    January 18th, 2009

    hotel

    Overall Impression – Never trust anyone over 17.  Or human.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who are your main characters? – Bruce and Andi.

    What are they trying to accomplish? – Professional: Rescue all the stray dogs of Central City. Personal: Not be split up.  Private: Find a real family of their very own.

    Who’s trying to stop them? – Alternates between their foster parents and the animal control officers at the pound.

    What happens if they fail? – They are split up and all the dogs are destroyed. 

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    Orphan – Bruce and Andi are real, honest to goodness orphans.  

    Wanderer – Andi and Bruce discover the abandoned hotel and try to figure out how to take care of all of the dogs they seem to be collecting.

    Warrior – As the number of dogs grows, they have to stay a step ahead of their step parents who are suspecting that something’s up, as well as animal control whom they thwart by getting to the strays before they do.

    Martyr – Once split up, Andi leaves her Dickensian Home for Girls and gets Bruce from his Dickensian Home for Boys where they make a daring rescue of all the dogs who are now in the pound.

    AND, IN THE END…

    All writers of children’s stories eventually face the dilemma of having to write a “Dad’s An Idiot”  story wherein kids are preternaturally smart and one or more adults are insufferably stupid.  HOTEL FOR DOGS elevates this concept to new heights (or new lows, as the case may be) by making almost every adult in the story not  only stupid, but evil.

    Why would adults — presumably the demographic who made this movie — make a movie that paints them in the worst possible light?   For the money?  That’s like me taking the gig to do an adaptation of the “Protocols of the Elders of Zion.”  The real crime here is that some really heroic, compassionate people such as foster parents and people who work for animal control are portrayed as scumbags.  If you want to see a good movie about orphaned kids, people who work with animals, and foster parents re-rent FREE WILLY.

    Beyond this, HOTEL FOR DOGS does a disservice to writing in that it panders to its youthful audience.  The gaps of logic and story glue are so pronounced that you can almost hear the creators saying “That’s okay, it’s for kids!  They won’t notice.”  And judging by the kids I saw this with, they didn’t.   It’s not unlike BEDTIME STORIES in that way.  It’s the story logic version of Woody Allen’s observation of the systematic lowering of standards.  It used to be that a kid’s story was LITTLE HOUSE ON THE PRAIRIE or CHARLOTTE’S WEB.  Now it’s HOTEL FOR DOGS.  

    The problem is that the next generation of writers will learn their craft from fond memories of movies like this.  We’re mortgaging our storytelling future on the cheap, I fear.

    – Jeffrey Alan Schechter


    EAGLE EYE

    January 10th, 2009

    eagle-eye

    Overall ImpressionI don’t care what anyone thinks… I enjoyed it! Solid Spielbergian fun. ‘Nuff said.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who’s your main character? Jerry Shaw

    What’s he trying to accomplish? Professional: Stop ARIA, the AI defense mainframe. Personal: win over Rachel. Private: Find out why his twin brother was killed and prove to himself that he isn’t useless.

    Who’s trying to stop him? ARIA, Special Agent Thomas Morgan, and many, many other people along the way.

    What happens if he fails? The leadership of the American government is killed, the country falls into disarray, ARIA stays active… Oh yeah, Jerry, Rachel and her son will die.

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    OrphanJerry has cut himself off from his parents, stopped speaking to his twin brother, and lives alone. But when he’s labeled a terrorist after finding nearly a million dollars in the bank, he can’t turn to anybody! In other words: uber-orphan.

    WandererNot only does Jerry have no idea what’s going on, but all the main characters have questions. Special Agent Thomas Morgan is trying to figure out what Jerry’s up to, while Jerry and fellow fugitive Rachel find their lives controlled by a mysterious caller with god-like control over all things electrical. In following the caller’s orders, they learn about each other, discover that they aren’t the only pawns in this game, and wonder ‘why them?’

    Warrior When Jerry and Rachel discover that the mysterious caller is ARIA – a super computer whose apparent goal is to help the American people, Jerry and Rachel more actively fight to follow its goals. They have to elude agent Morgan, battle their way into the Pentagon, and eventually fight ARIA itself once they discover its terrible endgame.

    Martyr – Jerry is captured, but Agent Morgan believes his story and sacrifices himself so that Jerry can stop ARIA. In another martyr beat, Jerry fires a weapon inside the White House to stop ARIA’s attack coming to fruition, saving everybody, but getting himself shot in the process.

    AND, IN THE END…

    A few people I invited to see this movie didn’t want to, claiming that it was all one big cliché that they’d seen before. Having seen the movie, I don’t totally agree with that, but it’s not an unfair view to take. What this does is highlight the importance of paying attention to clichés when making movies.

    The term ‘cliché’ is one that carries a certain amount of subjectivity, but it has also become somewhat muddy over time. Clichés can be seen as conventions that were once fresh and innovative, but which have since come to be tired and overused. That said, what might be one person’s cliché could, for another person, be a necessary component to place a movie within a specific genre. Another idea to consider is that clichés become clichés because they work.

    In my mind, clichés become most useful when they’re associated with audience expectation. Really cynical audience member: “What’s the point in paying money to see a movie if you know what’s going to happen, since it’s bound to be like all the others that came before it?”

    Movies have been around for a while now, and surprising an audience is becoming less about creating new ideas and more about finding new takes on old ones. With this in mind, clichés can be used as a means of subverting audience expectation, and making movies fresh again. DIE HARD is a great example of this. Traditional action heroes never got hurt, their hair was always perfect, and killing people was about as difficult as eating breakfast. Enter John McClain. He hates that he has to save Nakatomi Plaza, gets glass in his feet, and is probably more beat up than any of the thugs.

    Then again, some clichés never get tired, and even the tired ones have their reasons for being used. They’re just good.

    Yes, EAGLE EYE’s logic is stretched to the limits of believability (and then some). Yes, the President’s in trouble again and only somebody not in law enforcement can save him.  And yes, that somebody is a nobody.

    So what? I’m a nobody and I’ll never get tired of the idea that someone like me can save the world.

    -Dan Pilditch


    THE DARK KNIGHT

    January 5th, 2009

    dark_knight

    Overall Impression — Words fail me.  This is one of the most relentlessly brilliant explorations of the soul of a hero I’ve ever seen.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who’s your main character? — Bruce Wayne as the Batman.

    What’s he trying to accomplish? — Professional: Stop the Joker. Personal: Get Rachel to love him. Private: Discover if he has what it takes to be a real hero.

    Who’s trying to stop him? — The Joker.

    What happens if he fails? — People die and Gotham is torn apart.

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    Orphan — Wayne Manor is already destroyed and Rachel is now seeing Harvey Dent.  The Joker begins his crime spree and says that he’ll stop if the Batman will reveal himself.

    Wanderer — Batman tries to stop the Joker every way he knows how, however he’s ultimately unable to do what’s necessary and just kill the Joker, which is what the Joker would do if the situation were reversed and called for it.  Batman decides he’ll .

    Warrior — The Joker reveals that he’s got Rachel and Harvey hostage.  Batman tries to beat the information out of the Joker, who eventually gives two addresses.  Batman races off to an address to save Rachel, but it’s the wrong address and Rachel dies while Harvey is disfigured.

    Martyr — Proving their humanity, the passengers on the ferry ships being held hostage by the Joker give up saving themselves and do not destroy each other.  Batman gives up doing what’s right for what’s necessary, defeating the Joker and becoming the hero that Gotham needs, the Dark Knight.

    AND, IN THE END…

    There’s a reason why this movie has done a billion dollars worth of box office (and that’s not even counting DVD sales!)  Granted, Heath Ledger is brilliant and will win the Oscar (did I say that out loud?) but this movie belongs to the characters.  

    Heroes and villains are dark mirrors of each other, but instead of going to the surface understanding of this as in the 1989 Tim Burton BATMAN, THE DARK KNIGHT plunges deep under the skin to look at the nature of villainy and heroism.

    This movie should be added to every must-see list for any serious student of character development.


    BOLT

    January 5th, 2009

    bolt

    Overall Impression — A solid piece of work, a lot of fun, but one which requires a willingness to overlook some underlying logic holes.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who’s your main character? — Bolt.

    What’s he trying to accomplish? – Professional: Get back to Hollywood.  Personal: Rescue Penny.  Private: Accept that he’s not a dog with super powers.

    Who’s trying to stop him? — Various people and forces along the way, but there’s no one, clear antagonist.  In the “movie within the movie”, however, it’s the Green-Eyed Man who is the villain.

    What happens if he fails? — At first he thinks that Penny is in danger, but eventually the stakes become that he and Penny will be separated.  .

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    Orphan — Bolt believes that Penny has been taken away from him, and in the process of trying to go after her gets knocked out and shipped to New York where he knows no one.

    Wanderer — Bolt hooks up with Mittens the cat and forces her to help him.  On their travels they find Rhino the hamster who joins in Bolt’s mission to “save” Penny and make it back to Los Angeles.

    Warrior — Bolt and Mittens are both captured by Animal Control.  Bolt escapes with the help of Rhino, and together they go and rescue Mittens so their journey can continue, even though Bolt now knows that he doesn’t really have super powers.  Freeing Mittens they eventually get back to Las Vegas.

    Martyr — Bolt is willing to give up the new life Mittens imagines for them in Vegas in order to be with Penny.  He leaves for LA and Mittens and Rhino follow (giving up the bounty of Vegas for Bolt.)  Back in LA, Bolt risks his life to save Penny from a studio fire.

    AND, IN THE END…

    BOLT isn’t a bad movie, but it’s a familiar movie.  Borrowing from TOY STORY (Bolt is like Buzz Lightyear, a delusional character who thinks he’s really a pretend character) and TOY STORY 2 (Mittens is like Jesse, a once loved member of a household who was abandoned), Bolt returns to the well that Pixar dug so nicely.  The fact that this is the first movie to come out of John Lasseter’s tenure at Disney has to be more than just a coincidence.

    Similarities aside, it’s got it’s own charm but the story feels like it runs out of steam along the way.  Ultimately, I think it’s because we understand that there’s really nothing at stake.  We know Penny isn’t in jeopardy, and unlike TOY STORY there’s no Sid around to really threaten our characters.

    Too bad Disney didn’t borrow from that well, too.

    NOTE OF CONDOLENCE — John Travolta, as usual, does a wonderful job voicing Bolt, and our deepest condolences got out to Mr. Travolta, his wife and family over the loss of his son, Jett.


    RACHEL GETTING MARRIED

    January 4th, 2009

    rachel

    Overall Impression — Yay!  Another dysfunctional family wedding movie.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who’s your main character? — Kym.

    What’s she trying to accomplish? – Professional: be a good guest at her sister’s wedding; Personal: deal with her issues while forming a new relationship with a new boyfriend; Private: deal with the ghost from her past of the car accident that killed her younger brother.

    Who’s trying to stop her? — Her own demons, mostly.

    What happens if she fails? — She ruins her sister’s wedding.

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    Orphan — Kym is just out of rehab and arrives as a person semi-non-grata at her sisters wedding.

    Wanderer — She tries to figure out how to be a good sister and good guest, ultimately needing to learn that her sister’s wedding is NOT about her issues.

    Warrior — When she can’t get the acceptance she craves, she becomes more erratic, eventually wrecking her father’s car.

    Martyr — Kym gives up nothing, however her sister seems to kinda, sorta, accept Kym for who she is.  I think.

    AND, IN THE END…

    A cousin to MARGOT AT THE WEDDING, one of the first films I reviewed here .  Sadly, the same comment I wrote then holds true now: “Another great cast squandered with self-indulgent storytelling.   I’m not sure for whom this movie was made, but unpleasant characters running around saying and doing unpleasant things seems to me like something that would appeal to only a small handful of potential audience members. “

    This is a movie which is made by a great director and with a performance by Anne Hathaway that is heralded by people who herald things as being Oscar worthy.  Whether it is or it isn’t, I can’t say.  All I know is that $10 million dollars in domestic ticket sales after 3 months of general release can’t be all wrong…if you know what I mean.


    Four Questions? Four Archetypes?

    January 4th, 2009

    In order to have a basic understanding of how these reviews work, you need to understand two concepts: the four questions and the four archetypes.

    The four questions are the questions that every movie must answer effectively:

    1. Who’s your main character?
    2. What’s your main character trying to accomplish?
    3. Who’s trying to stop your main character?
    4. What happens if your main character fails?

    The answers must be:

    1. A sympathetic character, who is…
    2. …trying to accomplish a compelling goal while being opposed by…
    3. … a powerful and committed opponent, over…
    4. life and death stakes.

    The four archetypes are the four classic archetypes that every main character moves through in every great movie:

    1. ORPHAN in Act One
    2. WANDERER in the first half of Act Two
    3. WARRIOR in the second half of Act Two
    4. MARTYR in Act Three.

    TROPIC THUNDER

    January 3rd, 2009

    thunder

    Overall Impression — Oh.  My.  Lord.  The biggest cajones in the comedy world belong to Ben Stiller.  This movie goes places wise men fear to tread…and comes out the other side in one, amazing piece.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who’s your main character? — Tugg Speedman.

    What’s he trying to accomplish? — Professional: Rebuild his career by appearing in an epic war movie.  Personal: be a leader to his troupe of actors.  Private: Learn how to REALLY care about something other than himself.

    Who’s trying to stop him? — Drug lords.

    What happens if he fails? — He dies.

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    Orphan — Tugg is  in over his head starring in an out of control war movie, then he and his fellow actors are dropped in the jungle and lose total contact with the outside world.

    Wanderer — Tugg and his troupe continue trying to “act” in the movie they think is still going on, until it slowly becomes obvious to everyone but Tugg that this is real.    Tugg eventually parts company with the others and fights to survive in the jungle on his own.

    Warrior — Tugg gets taken prisoner by a gang of drug runners, and eventually realizes that this isn’t a movie.  His fellow actors realize that Tugg’s in trouble and have to come up with a plan to rescue him.  

    Martyr — Everyone is willing to risk everything for Tugg, Tugg’s willing to risk everything for his “son”, Tugg’s agent is willing to risk…no, I can’t give it away.  Basically, it’s an over-the-top Martyr Fest!

    AND, IN THE END…

    The purpose of this blog is not to review movies, but to examine if they work and then hold up their relative success or failure against the principles in TotallyWrite and Contour.

    TROPIC THUNDER works like gangbusters structurally, a fact which can easily get lost because you’re either laughing out loud so often or your jaw has dropped against your chest in wonderment that they actually “went there.”

    I’ve often heard not to make movies that are too “inside.”   It has something to do with people not really being too interested in peering behind the curtain into the entertainment they’re enjoying.  But TROPIC THUNDER is both inside and outside.  It makes fun of everything including celebrity adoptions, celebrity children’s books, agents, producers, directors, product placement, Oscar worthy roles about the mentally challenged; it’s both a satire about how actors feel about themselves and how we feel about them.


    FROST/NIXON

    January 2nd, 2009

    frost

    Overall Impression — A boxing match with words and wits, not muscle and brawn.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who’s your main character? — David Frost.

    What’s he trying to accomplish? — Be taken seriously as an intelligent interviewer and not just a talk show host by betting Nixon to admit publicly  what he never had before: that he was part of a cover up.

    Who’s trying to stop him? — Nixon.

    What happens if he fails? — Frost loses both his British and Australian shows (because he’s been spending so much time preparing for the interviews) as well as all of his money which he’s sunk into the production.

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    Orphan — Frost had a successful US show but lost it, now he’s relegated to doing fluff.  He desperately wants to be a success in the US again.

    Wanderer — He gets Nixon to agree to the interviews, and now sets out to get networks and sponsors, as well as try to make sure that the interviews don’t become a puff-piece to elevate Nixon again.

    Warrior — After the networks decline to get involved and he loses his meager sponsorship, Frost decides to syndicate the show himself.  He also discovers that Nixon is a skilled speaker and isn’t going to let Frost corner him.

    Martyr — Here it gets a little weak.   By this point in the movie, Frost has already stuck his neck out in so many ways — professionally, financially — that there’s very little left for him to martyr.  The closest thing I can find is that he gives up his easy-going air to really buckle down and prepare for the final interview, at last taking the reigns and giving up his dandy-fied lifestyle…at least for a short while.

    AND, IN THE END…

    There was so much behind-the-scenes drama and gamesmanship behind the Frost/Nixon interviews that, for the most part, the interviews themselves become the least interesting moments of the film.  

    The battle David Frost had on his hands was to keep Nixon from rambling on and squandering the agreed upon time.  For three of the four interviews Frost mostly loses the battle.  It’s only during the final interview, the one about Watergate, that the fireworks come.  

    So what do we, the audience, get to watch for three interviews?  Nixon rambling on!  It’s integral to the story but doesn’t make for riveting cinema because it didn’t make for riveting television and THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT!  The final battle in act three is — must be — triggered by how light and boring the first 3 interviews are!

    The filmmakers work around this admirably by cutting to Frost’s team so we can see their emotional states, but our hero, David Frost, is stuck on camera with Nixon and isn’t able to give voice to that sick feeling he’s got in the pit of his stomach as he sees his life flash before his eyes.

    Andy Warhol made an infamous movie called SLEEP which lasted 8 hours and features a man sleeping.  That was the point.  Of course, it’s an oddity more than it is a movie (no hate mail, please!)  

    FROST/NIXON is no oddity.  It’s a well-crafted film made by world class filmmakers working at the top of their game, however the core challenge the hero faces in the story is how to keep something from being boring.  Which means you have to show the boring stuff.  Which means you risk boring the audience.  Which, based on current box office results ($4 million worldwide after a month in limited release) seems to be happening.

    Be forewarned; writing a movie where the drama is less than dramatic is about as tricky as engaging in wordsmanship with an erratic, devious ex-president.

     


    TWILIGHT

    January 1st, 2009

    twilight

    Overall Impression — A teen love story with vampires, not a vampire story with teen lovers.

    THE FOUR QUESTIONS

    Who’s your main character? — Bella.

    What’s she trying to accomplish? — Fall in love with Edward and have him love her back…without it costing her life.

    Who’s trying to stop her? — Edward (and also James and also Jacob and also her father and also her friends.  I told you it was a teen love story!) 

    What happens if she fails? — She will be either killed or turned into a vampire herself.

    THE FOUR ARCHETYPES

    Orphan — Bella leaves the sun of Arizona for the clouds of Washington state, starts at a new school and moves in with the father she hasn’t seen much.

    Wanderer — She meets Edward and senses that there’s something odd about him.  She starts trying to figure it out.  Bella puts the pieces together and figures out that he’s a vampire.  She’s also now in love with him.

    Warrior —  They fight to figure out how to be together without Edward losing control and killing her.  They also discover another group of vampires are working the area, and the most vicious one has caught Bella’s scent.

    Martyr — Bella abandons her father in order to protect him and flees James’ pursuit of her.  Edward and his entire vampire family risk themselves to keep her safe, and ultimately Bella is willing to sacrifice herself to protect her mother from James.  

    AND, IN THE END…

    This was one deliberately paced movie.  Slow, no graphic violence, much more hormonal than hemoglobal.   That’s because it’s a love story, first and foremost.

    In love stories, the question is never “will the lovers get together?” but rather “with all of the obstacles standing in their way, how will the lovers ever get together?”  Twilight excels in that it knows exactly what it is.  Edward’s curse is that he’s a vampire; the obstacle to him and Bella being together because the more he wants to be with her, the harder it is for him to control his bloodlust.  How’s THAT for an obstacle?   And even at the end of TWILIGHT, the question of how will they be able to be together is only answered in the short term.  Edward is 17 and will never age.  Bella is 16.  What happens when she catches up to him?  What happens as she gets older than him?  How will they be able to be together without her being turned into a vampire (or, please no, Edward being turned human in some “never tried before on a vampire” experiment contrivance?)

    I haven’t read the books, but now I understand why my teenage daughters (and my wife!) are so keen to find out how it all will end.

    – Jeffrey Alan Schechter